Painting sucks!
Nothing is more frustrating than something you can't do. My journey as an illustrator started when I was young. I loved the medium of pen and paper. However, painting was another story. I just could not control the medium in a way to communicate what I wanted to express. It was too ambiguous and slow- so I just stuck with illustrations. Even as a Design major in college, I struggled with painting so much that my teachers tried to fail me! Painting became the bane of my existence. Because of failure, I put away my brushes and paints for 15 years. However, I always knew there was something there, lurking in my artistic basement of my soul. The implacable urging never went away.
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I came to a point in my artist journey, my spiritual life, and career when I longed to express myself in a new way. Frustrated with familiar forms of expression, I found a need to ‘reinvent’ myself. My wife and I bought a house in summer of 2007 and as a result interior design projects began. I stared at a blank wall in the living room and ‘heard’ it challenging me to create something to fill its empty void. I could hear the wall mock me saying “create something worthy of me”. Fear began to creep in my thoughts. What if it’s not good enough? What if I have nothing to say? What if I look foolish? I stood at an artist crossroad. Regardless of my fears, I felt God calling me to paint so I took a step of faith. The following year would change my art, life, and leadership forever.
To my surprise I discovered that my style and technique had radically transformed (pictured above). It was unrecognizable from before. No longer was I so concerned about ‘control’, in fact I relished the chaos. Through painting, color, movement, and storytelling became alive to me. A renaissance had begun in my life. I thank God for allowing me to enter this new journey as a painter. I am still learning and exploring (& making mistakes!) a lot but I am excited to see where it takes me. Since that pivotal painting 2 years ago, I have since painted over 40 paintings which I have given away freely. I posted some of my paintings down below. Before you look at them, I wanted to share these thoughts first:
Creative Leadership lessons from this experience:
- Your abilities as an artist are the sum of your ENTIRE life experiences. A painting doesn’t start when you pick up a paint brush, but the moment you picked up a crayon as a child.
- A renaissance experience is about authenticity not marketability. It’s not about being good but about being true.
- Continually be in a process of reinventing yourself. You have NO IDEA what you are capable of. Your limitations are easier to focus on. Your potential is unknown.
- Discover what you want to say and SAY IT boldly. Don’t wait. Stop making excuses.
- Don’t worry about being inspired. Inspiration comes as you create. Worry about creating.
- Don’t let anyone put you in a box or define what kind of artist you are- especially yourself!
- Art, music, and Design inspires like NOTHING else.
- Generosity changes you and your art. With the exception of my first painting, all other paintings have been given away freely. It’s not your gift anyways right?
Now it's time for you to go lead, inspire, and change the world with your art. You can read more about my paintings here on my Creative Leadership blog.
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